There are a lot of idiots out there. Whenever I talk to just about anyone, I’m like what is this idiot even trying to say?
Sometimes an idiot can be funny though, especially when they fall really hard on accident. The other day I saw an idiot, and I threw a banana peel right in front of him. And the idiot slipped on it and smashed right into the sidewalk. Hah! Funny idiot. And he chipped a tooth from it so he looked like even more of an idiot.
Other times though, an idiot can be really annoying. Like when you’re on the highway and you miss the exit, so you decide to just spin around real fast to go back to it. And then some idiot doesn’t notice what you’re doing and crashes right into you! And then the idiots over at the insurance company find you at fault–even when you tell them you were really hungry and the exit you turned around for had a McDonald’s. And the next exit wasn’t for a whole two miles.
Sometimes when you talk to an idiot, you like to humor them a little bit, just to like, keep yourself entertained. But inside you’re laughing because what is this idiot even talking about? This happened to me a lot in college. Once I was taking some class, chemistry I think it was called, being taught by some idiot professor. He kept making up words like beaker and molecule. Hey buddy, Beaker is a muppet! It was clear this idiot didn’t prep for the class and was just making things up to try and sound smart.
So I was like, ah whatever, I’ll mess with the guy some. Just to see what else he has to say, because, like I said, it’s fun to do that to idiots. So I raise my hand and I’m like, very interesting, yes, tell me more about this molecule—what is that? You know, just kind of going along with it.
And the rest of the class is looking at me confused, because they’re idiots and don’t get what I’m doing, and the professor just kind of shakes his head. And then says something about a molecule being a small science thing and it’s so little that you can’t even see it with a microscope. Um, okay idiot, how am I supposed to believe that? Even the other college idiots in the lecture didn’t buy that one, because none of them wrote down the definition of a molecule in their notes.
I remember one time I went to go see the Tour De France, and I was looking at the picture of George Washington on a quarter and thinking, man this idiot had wooden teeth. And then some idiot jostled me, to get a better view of the bikes, and the quarter slipped out of my hand and rolled onto the track. Right in the middle. So I strolled out to get my quarter, when some idiot yelled out, “Hey man, get out of the middle of the track. The bikes are coming.”
And I was just smirking to myself, like, okay idiot. Because the bikes are going to hit me? Riggghht. Ever heard of something called being a pedestrian? The guys on the bikes couldn’t hit me because it would be illegal. What I didn’t consider was the fact that all the bikers were idiots too. And they all hit me and ran right over me. I think one idiot in the back even swerved a bit to hit my pinky.
Yep, it seems like there are more and more idiots out there every day. Just about everywhere you look you’re bound to see an idiot. Unless, of course, you’re looking in a mirror and you’re me.
