posts
i found the end of a rainbow even though rainbow science says it's impossible
17 March 2024i found the end of a rainbow even though rainbow science says it's impossible
17 March 2024"For me, the best part of rainbows is the gold at the end. I think having a bunch of gold is better than having a bunch of beauty. It’s like I always say, 'I’d rather be rich and ugly than poor and ugly.'"
"For me, the best part of rainbows is the gold..."
julius caesar revises the roman calendar
29 Feb 2024julius caesar revises the roman calendar
29 Feb 2024"Well, look at our calendar. There are only ten months. And then there’s this sort of limbo period where we stop caring about months. And then we go right back into months again."
"Well, look at our calendar. There are only ten months."
people keep throwing me down wells
27 Jan 2024people keep throwing me down wells
27 Jan 2024"All’s well that ends well. Especially when you’re being thrown down one. People are always throwing me down wells. That, or running me out of town."
"All’s well that ends well. Especially when you’re being thrown down..."
pinocchio goes on a date the day after coming alive
10 Dec 2023pinocchio goes on a date the day after coming alive
10 Dec 2023"Hi, I’m Pinnochio. Thanks for meeting me at this bar. I love going to bars. I’ve loved bars the entire time I’ve been alive, which is about as long as you have."
"Hi, I’m Pinnochio. Thanks for meeting me at this bar."
santa made me conductor of the polar express and i messed up big time
3 Dec 2023santa made me conductor of the polar express and i messed up big time
3 Dec 2023"I had usually gotten fired for gross negligence. And a few times for grossout negligence. But at the North Pole, it didn’t matter. Santa’s pretty nice in that regard. He really only cares if kids are naughty. If you’re an adult who acts up, who cares, he says."
"I had usually gotten fired for gross negligence. And a..."