posts
interviews for santa's replacement
24 Dec 2022interviews for santa's replacement
24 Dec 2022"Santa is retiring and the North Pole is looking for a replacement. We're searching for a fresh Santa with a fun gimmick to reinvigorate the excitement of children around the world."
"Santa is retiring and the North Pole is looking for a..."
other things i made come alive with frosty the snowman's hat
15 Dec 2022other things i made come alive with frosty the snowman's hat
15 Dec 2022"The beauty of the Frosty the Snowman hat is that it can make anything come to life, not just snowmen. And I had a whole slew of ideas on what to use it on."
"The beauty of the Frosty the Snowman hat is that..."
10 terrible wishes i made to my genie
8 Dec 202210 terrible wishes i made to my genie
8 Dec 2022"I’ll rub just about any lamp I come across. I’ll rub a desk lamp, a floor lamp, a lava lamp–I even get up and rub my TV before a Pixar movie just in case there’s a genie hiding in that one."
"I’ll rub just about any lamp I come across. I’ll rub..."
the time the 1940s mafia invaded my hometown
1 Dec 2022the time the 1940s mafia invaded my hometown
1 Dec 2022"After that, I decided to muscle my way past them. The only problem was that the guys were very strong, and I was very covered in spaghetti and I kept getting sauce in my eyes."
"After that, I decided to muscle my way past them."
my dna isn't all that great
24 Nov 2022my dna isn't all that great
24 Nov 2022"I feel like when I was a baby, there wasn’t much instilled in my DNA at all. A baby parrot can probably speak English. You can barely even hold a conversation with a human baby, and if you do it won’t be very engaging I’ll tell you that much."
"I feel like when I was a baby, there wasn’t much..."