posts
sitting can't be the new smoking—it isn't cool enough
15 Nov 2023sitting can't be the new smoking—it isn't cool enough
15 Nov 2023"They say sitting is the new smoking. Whenever I take a seat, somebody tells me, 'May as well just smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds.'"
"They say sitting is the new smoking. Whenever I take..."
5 cool ways to tamper with your candy this halloween
31 Oct 20235 cool ways to tamper with your candy this halloween
31 Oct 2023"Then I realized there aren’t any laws saying adults can’t trick-or-treat. And so I did it. I came back with my pail of candy and looked for all the tampered-with ones, or as I like to call them, the fun ones."
"Then I realized there aren’t any laws saying adults can’t..."
a day in the life of dracula
18 Oct 2023a day in the life of dracula
18 Oct 2023"Time for your dental checkup. Looks like you have some inflammation in your gums. Do they bleed when you floss? If only."
"Time for your dental checkup. Looks like you have some inflammation..."
my new outlook on life got me trapped in a corn maze
23 Sep 2023my new outlook on life got me trapped in a corn maze
23 Sep 2023"The owner told me I could have a glass of apple cider. It seemed like kind of a crummy prize. Was it at least spiked? He said no because kids drink the cider too. As if a kid couldn’t appreciate a nice glass of spiked cider."
"The owner told me I could have a glass of..."
8 reasons you shouldn't buy a vacation home in the jungle
26 Aug 20238 reasons you shouldn't buy a vacation home in the jungle
26 Aug 2023"When I first got a place in the jungle, I realized there weren’t any outlets to plug my cool electronics into. I checked everywhere, even under a gross old log. But I couldn’t find a single outlet."
"When I first got a place in the jungle, I..."