posts
interview to become a monk
14 Dec 2025interview to become a monk
14 Dec 2025"I guess my primary goal would be pride. So I could look in the mirror and see how much cooler I am than the other monks. Or maybe that’s vanity? I guess I’d do the mohawk for a mix of pride and vanity."
"I guess my primary goal would be pride. So I could..."
i'm dr. frankenstein and i didn't mean to make that monster
31 Oct 2025i'm dr. frankenstein and i didn't mean to make that monster
31 Oct 2025"Honestly, it was an accident. I mean yes, I did go dig up all those bodies. And I did stitch all the scariest parts together."
"Honestly, it was an accident. I mean yes, I did..."
first drafts of the grinch
25 Dec 2024first drafts of the grinch
25 Dec 2024"What you might not know is that the Grinch we all love isn’t the original. In fact, there were a bunch of other drafts before old Seuss landed on the final version of the Grinch."
"What you might not know is that the Grinch we all..."
the white house would like to apologize for this year's turkey pardon
28 Nov 2024the white house would like to apologize for this year's turkey pardon
28 Nov 2024"We were not aware that not only did the turkey know how to use a gun, but it had used one to rob several local businesses."
"We were not aware that not only did the turkey..."
some potions are better than others
18 Nov 2024some potions are better than others
18 Nov 2024"The Lava Potion, which lets you wade through lava, sounds really cool at first. But then you realize, how often am I even around lava? And when I am, how often do I want to wade through it?"
"The Lava Potion, which lets you wade through lava, sounds really..."